Tap into the Divine to Become Empowered

Whenever you feel discouraged, overwhelmed, or negative in any way, change your energy by reminding yourself that the same Divine Intelligence that creates supernovas, galaxies, & literally everything on Earth is the same Divine Intelligence that dwells within YOU!

How is this possible? Well, when you really think about it, how can it not be possible!

For starters, consider the fact that each one of us started out as a single microscopic cell, filled with all of the DNA and genetic information necessary to perfectly divide into what makes us a human being, specifically 37 trillion cells, 200 different types of cells, 11 highly complex organ systems, 640 skeletal muscles, over 200 types of bones, and 7 chakra energy centers. Pretty incredible when you think about it! For all these intricate processes to flawlessly take place, clearly suggests that there must be a Divine Intelligence operating within each of us.

A Miracle of Birth or Something More?

While the creation of a human being is in fact miraculous, miraculous is the only way to describe what continues to go on within our bodies long after our bodies have taken on a life of their own. If you take time to truly consider each of the following astonishing facts about your amazing body, I’m sure you’ll agree that there must be a Higher Intelligence overseeing it all.

Did You Know?

  • Your heart pumps nearly 1.5 gallons of blood per minute through a blood system 60,000 miles long: that’s 83 gallons per hour, 2000 gallons per day.
  • One cell in your body goes though the order of 100,000 – 6 trillion functions per second while communicating with the other trillions of cells at a rate faster than the speed of light
  • Your kidneys clean 20% of your blood every minute, cleaning your entire volume of blood in about five minutes
  • You inhale 2 million liters of air a day and within seconds, it’s transported to every cell in your body.
  • Your brain can recognize a sound 10 times faster than the blink of an eye.
  • Your nose can remember about 50,000 different scents.
  • The human eye can distinguish about 10 million different colors.
  • Your brain processes approximately 45 thoughts a minute, 3,000 thoughts per hour, 70,000 thoughts per day.
  • Every day your heart creates enough energy to drive a truck 20 miles.

These are only 9 facts and there are hundreds more, maybe even thousands! Even though all of the aforementioned facts point to a Divine presence, because of the fact that they all occur below our conscious radar, it is easy for us to forget about the Divine within each of us.

How Can We Keep in Touch with Our Divine Nature?

Just as our bodies are glorious in all their functions, so too is Nature in all of her glory. When you think about everything that goes into what creates and makes a waterfall so spectacular and awe striking, the same can be said about a mountain range, a starry sky, a bird, a flower, even a small bug, and the list goes on and on. When we recognize the Divine Intelligence within Nature and even space, then during our moments in which we need guidance, support, and unconditional love, let Nature serve as a reminder of the Divine presence that dwells within you.

So, the next time you feel compelled to give into a negative thought or strengthen your tie to a negative emotion, close your eyes and envision the most majestic waterfall that you possibly can. And, remember that the same Divinity that created and continues to oversee that glorious waterfall is the same Divine Intelligence that has been with you since the beginning – always looking out for your best interests and always loving you without conditions. Surrender whatever ails you to your Divine Intelligence and ask that it be resolved in a way that’s best for you. If It can create supernovas while overseeing the trillions of operations within your body, it can definitely help you with anything you need. All you have to do is acknowledge this Divine presence and ask. It’s that simple!

7 Signs Your Soul May Be Suffering & Ways To Heal it!

Do Any of These Describe You?

  • You find it difficult to appreciate the present moment because you’re either focused on a past or future event
  • You feel stuck in an aspect of your life and you don’t know how to get yourself unstuck
  • You don’t know how to really enjoy life without keeping busy
  • You act like you have most of it together, but on the inside you feel like you’re falling apart
  • You are tired and are running out of ways to stay positive
  • Your body and/or mind are starting to show signs of distress
  • Deep down you know something isn’t right, but either you can’t pinpoint it or you are afraid to acknowledge it

If some of these describe you, you’re not alone!

We’ve all heard of the importance of the mind-body-spirit connection, yet most of us put our spirit, our soul, last – leaving us out of balance and setting us up for pain and suffering. When we are stuck in limiting patterns, we tend to act out in unloving and unhealthy ways, blinded by fear and perhaps doubt, unable to see our unlimited potential. Some times we navigate through life unaware of these patterns, until some challenge show up that looks like loss, lack, or limitation. Even though positive thinking and actions are essential, we must first get to the root of our suffering. which can only be found within ourselves.

Take it from me: Don’t wait to nourish your soul until your body starts to show signs of dis-ease!

Long story short- for approximately 3 years, I could feel that something inside of me was going dim, but I justified putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own, so I ignored it. My rationale was that if I could hold out and help everyone else around me heal their own personal wounds, I would then would dedicate my energy to taking care of myself. For a while, I likened and my situation to the movie, the Titanic, specifically to the scene of the steel doors closing to seal off the flooded compartments, fatally trapping many of the workers. I thought of myself as the man who as was waiting to help save as many of the workers as he could before slipping himself under the door at the very last minute. Like the man in the movie, I was determined to hold out as long as I could to help those around me, but in the meantime, I was placing my entire being at great risk. As my life was literally hitting rock bottom, I could feel that which was dimming was actually in the process of dying. I vividly remember crying and saying aloud that I could feel my soul dying, and now looking back, I was dead-on accurate!  Unfortunately, with all that I had allowed myself to endure, it came to no surprise that my health became greatly compromised. My intention here is not to focus on my health, which I am in the process of healing, nor is it to place blame. I take full responsibility for neglecting my own needs, and I now realize that I have no business in forcing someone to heal. Everyone will heal when and if they want to, and the best thing I can do for everyone is to heal myself.
The purpose of bringing up my story is to underscore the importance of taking care of your soul. Our soul provides us with the vital life force energy that is needed to drive all parts of our body, including our mind. Please don’t wait for your situation to go from bad to worse before you start giving your precious soul the loving nourishment that it needs. The mind-body-soul connection is a real, and your soul needs tending to just as much as your mind and body.
So how can you start giving your soul the nourishment that it needs? Actually, it’s not as difficult as you may think. Of the mind-body-soul connection, it is the soul that is the easiest with which to work as well as the most forgiving. Remember your soul is the Divine aspect of you, and as such, it knows you better than anyone, sees you as completely worthy, and loves you unconditionally. Once you start to nourish it a little, it will do a lot to guide and support you, but it can’t do it running on empty. Here are six steps you can take to start giving your soul the nourishment it needs.
  1. Meditate. This should come to no surprise because when we meditate we become present, stopping the negative internal chatter that plagues us throughout most of our day. When you learn to meditate properly, you literally are providing your soul with positive healing energy that works quickly to restore and strengthen it. Take time to find the meditation that works best for you. Meditation is personal and may take a few samplings before you determine the one that’s right for you. Meditation is truly one of the best things you can do for your soul, so spend your time investigating, sampling, and then mastering it.
  1. Let go of things you can’t control. Even though this is easier said than done, it is essential in healing your soul. When we try to control people or situations even with the best intentions, we are creating resistance, which literally tears our soul apart. Once you accept that the only thing you have control over is you, everything starts to heal, especially your soul. When your Ego starts to give you reasons as to why you should control a situation, surrender the situation and trust that the Divine will handle it in a way that is best for everyone involved.
  1. Break out of your routine. Most of our pain and suffering is due to living by the negative emotions that we memorized from our past. Because our emotions are the often catalysts to our actions, we find ourselves living the same routine over and over, leaving us without much of an opportunity for change. Ways to break out of a routine may vary from changing your physical environment to simply switching the order in which you do daily tasks. Personally, I’ve found that my soul finds tremendous joy in new experiences, so I try to do something new and out of the ordinary at least once a week.
  1. Live your life on purpose. Of all of the things that you can do to nourish your soul, this is the one that most people neglect because they see it as too overwhelming. While living your life on purpose may translate to quitting your job and pursuing a new career, it can also lead to keeping the same job while adding new purpose to other areas of your life. The main idea here is to determine whether or not your life is in alignment with your life purpose, and if it isn’t, explore ways in which you can live more purposefully. How to make your life more purposeful is personal and varies from person to person, but if someone is not on purpose anywhere in life, it will wreak havoc on his or her soul. Purpose is good for you, and it’s even better for your soul.
  1. Put your personal needs the top of your list. Although many of us may have grown up believing that taking care of our needs first is selfish, it is actually one of the best ways we can help those we love. It has been proven that in order to help others, we must first help ourselves. This does not make us selfish, but rather it makes us a strong model for our loved ones, not to mention it makes us more empowered. If you neglect your own needs, not only will you be useless in being able to help others, but you will also be setting yourself up for dis-ease on the fast track.
  2. Learn from others who have well-nourished souls & then look inward to apply it. It makes sense to model the spiritual teachers with whom we resonate the most, and apply their teachings to our lives. But, before we are able to make what we learn tangible in our lives, we must first look inward, where all of our answers are. True change happens on the inside, not on the outside. One way to do this is to focus on specific teachings that have been proven to nourish the soul, and then determine whether or not you accept them. Contemplating these truths not only allows you to “check in” with your soul, but it also allows you to assess how active your destructive Ego really is. Acceptance of spiritual truths is evidence that your soul is in the lead while rejection is evidence that your Ego is in charge. For example, if I believe in the teachings of the Dalai Lama, I could focus on one specific teaching at a time to help strengthened my soul. If I am in agreement with the teaching, I will look for more ways to apply it to my life. If I disagree with a teaching, then I will dig deep to uncover why I am resisting something that is good for my soul. I will do the inner until my soul is becomes greater than my ego.
Be prepared that as you are taking action to nourish your soul, your Ego will be determined to fight you every step of the way. If your soul takes the lead, your Ego will no longer be in control, so it will make a convincing argument for you to disagree with or reject anything that can strengthen your soul. Your Ego will also encourage you to look outside of yourself for answers. If you continue to look for answers outside of yourself, you will be relinquishing your own personal power while compromising your immune system and strengthening the negative neural connections that support your limiting beliefs – true poison for the soul! Keep digging and keep your attention focused inward.  Your soul needs you to find the answers within while your Ego will try to evoke blame to someone or something on the outside in order to keep you victimized. Once you start to give your soul the true nourishment it needs, you will be strengthening your mind-body-spirit connection, making your life more in-balanced, more peaceful, and more joyful.
To learn more about Daily Soul Therapy, a totally FREE program, please click Here.

Peace,

Carolyn

Is Victim Thinking Leaving You Powerless?

What if I told you that your mind may actually like being a victim? Now before you get defensive and say, “I don’t consider myself a victim” –  take a deep breath, open your mind, and accept the fact that most brains, including yours have been wired to make us want to feel like victims. In fact, we all play the part of a victim at one time or another, and some play victim their whole lives. Take me for example. Throughout my life, I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me, but one time, not too long ago,  I remember tearfully telling “my story” to a spiritual healer and then proclaiming that I wasn’t a victim to which he very matter-of-factly responded, “Well, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, guess what?”

Feeling embarrassed and quite self-absorbed, I then put my head down and said, “I get it. It’s a duck.” At that moment, I knew I had allowed myself to play victim, and looking back, I gotta tell you that it wasn’t a good look for me. I am very grateful for that Ah-ha moment and what it taught me. Now, I do my best to stay vigilant in watching out for any victim thinking that might try to enter my thoughts, so I can immediately stop those self-absorbing thoughts from spinning out of control. Because I am not perfect, victim thoughts may slip in from time to time, but due to my mindfulness, they do not last long at all.

For most of us, playing victim is something that we learned during our childhood and now is literally woven into the fabric of our brains. Although socially acceptable and highly contagious, victim thinking can hold us back in many areas of our lives and can often lead to pain and misery. The good news is that if you are willing to take inventory of your own victimizing behaviors, you can begin the process of change.

What if you don’t want to change? Well, unless you correct your victimizing behaviors, they will have a good chance of becoming worse. If that is the case, you put yourself at risk for the following:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Fear of relationships
  • Irritability
  • Difficulty falling asleep
  • Powerlessness
  • Fear of being alone
  • Severe mood swings
  • Loss of energy
  • Loss of interest in life
  • Suicidal thoughts or actions
  • The classic symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

So, what do you do? To prevent the above from manifesting or getting worse, consider these
5-victimizing behaviors and how often you engage in each behavior on a daily basis. Be honest with yourself, and keep in mind that it doesn’t make a difference whether or not you feel justified in your behavior.

  • Complaining
  • Blaming
  • Ruminating: Talking or thinking about past events or people who hurt you
  • Making excuses for not taking action
  • Trying to control others and/or situations

Recognizing our victimizing behaviors can be quite humbling, but please be compassionate with yourself and don’t beat yourself up too much. Most of our brains have been on auto-pilot, defaulting to these behaviors without even realizing that they turn us into victims, stripping us of our own personal power. The good news is that once you have an awareness of your behavior,  you can begin the process of change.

One way to create positive change is to consider each behavior, noting how often you engage in it, determining the triggers involved, and then deciding what might you do differently in the future, so you will become more empowered. To do this, I recommend making a reflection log of these 5 behaviors and reviewing it at the end of each day.  Then, the next morning, review your log, so you stay conscientious not to repeat your behaviors again. If you are interested in truly eliminating victim behaviors from your life, check out Better Than Therapy Program: Reclaim Your Power & Stop Being A Victim. It’s helped many people rid their lives of victim behaviors, and it can help you, too.

Peace,

Carolyn

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7 Ways To Stay Motivated While You Create Positive Change

It is ironic that as soon as we decide to make real positive change in our lives, our Ego gets activated and starts to feed us an internal stream of negative dialogue as to why we should put off making the change. Because it’s the nature of our Ego to make sure that we stay miserable, it will often downplay the importance of any positive change we want to make in our lives, which causes us to create an excuse not to follow through with implementing our desired change. It is at this point that you need to meet your Ego head-on and proactively do things that will keep you motivated and empowered. As a way to help you stay empowered during your journey of self improvement, you need to be your own strongest advocate. Luckily,  there are specific things that you can do to help you stay motivated to create the change you desire.

  1. Be your own best friend. I am using the idea of a best friend because we usually speak more positively & gently to someone we care about then we do to ourselves. Also, when I say, “Be your own best friend,”  I am not being negative nor am I implying that people will eventually let you down or that the world is a dangerous place. I am simply stating that when you’re going toe to toe with your Ego, you need to take responsibility for empowering  yourself to be motivated, rather than relying on other people. Of course, your true friends will be supportive of you but let’s face it, it’s not their job to keep your motivation in check. It’s yours. To ensure your own empowerment, you need to take full responsibility for your own growth, and it will end up making you stronger in the end.
  2. Start having frequent conversations with yourself, using positive and inspiring words.  You can start by making this a daily habit by talking to yourself after the alarm goes off, when you are getting ready, as soon as you get into your car, or whenever you find yourself in a situation where you are alone. Tell yourself everything that you would say to someone you deeply love, who needed your full love and support. Speak loudly and clearly and tell yourself things that will make you smile.  Tell yourself that you’re beautiful and that you’re doing a great job! If you’ve never tried it, it is actually quite fun and will make you feel super-empowered!
  3. Accept yourself rather than punish yourself.  All too often we are quick to point out our flaws and remind ourselves of all the things we need to improve upon. This type of negative internal dialogue is coming from our Ego and needs to be stopped right away; otherwise, it will prevent us in creating positive change.  One way to accept yourself is to send love and gratitude to every part of you, especially those parts of which you are not especially fond.  You can do this by simply placing your hand on your heart with a strong intention of sending it complete unconditional love and gratitude. You can also tell your body how grateful you are for doing all that it does for you while whispering, “I love you” over and over. This practice is a wonderful gift that you can give to yourself and all of your billions of cells who have been dedicating their entire existence to your well-being.
  4. Evaluate your connections with others.  Because energy is contagious, you need to surround yourself with only positive people; otherwise, you put yourself in jeopardy of becoming negative, setting you up to fail in your quest to make change. Also, if there are people in your life who make you feel “less than” or unworthy, you need to separate yourself from them as soon as possible. If you  maintain connections with people who reinforce a feeling of unworthiness within you, you will lose the power and strength to make any positive change permanent. If you choose to separate yourself from a negative connection, send them love and be grateful for having shown you that you are in fact valuable and worthy.
  5. Make new connections with people that reflect the change that you desire. We all have heard the saying,  Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future,  and it is especially true for people who are seeking to improve their lives.  New relationships can help us bridge the path between our old way of being with the new way we desire.  With this being the case,  create new connections by going to places where your like-minded people go. It is motivating to surround yourself with people who value what you value, and these people should make you feel worthy. Even if you’re shy, you can still grab a book and go to a park,  your local Starbucks, or any place that would put you in contact with positive people the possess the change that you are looking to make. If you need ideas as to where you can meet people with your similar interests, try searching which MeetUps are offered in your area, and if there aren’t any, you could always create one.
  6. Set goals for yourself.  Setting goals is wonderful because it will help keep you motivated. Make sure your goals are visible and measurable, meaning don’t just say you want save money, but state the exact amount that you want to save and the specific date that you want to save it by. Be as specific as you can and use the power of visualization to help you feel as if you already have achieved your goal. Vision boards are great to help create and maintain your motivation because they build excitement around your goal.
  7. Be good to yourself.  When you start taking care of yourself,  you are showing yourself that you are worthy and valuable, which will help keep you empowered while making change. You can do this by eating healthy foods, engaging in positive activities that make you feel good, being physically active, dedicating time to doing things that make you happy, and if you haven’t done so already, start enjoying your own company. As far as doing things that are positive that make you feel good, performing random acts of kindness will always make you feel good, not to mention it contributes to the goodness in our world.

Of course, there are other things that you can do to help you stay motivated, but when you are already dedicating time creating real change, simplicity is best. Also, a short list is easier to remember, making it more likely that you will stick to it.

 

Essential Holiday Tips for Parents Dealing with Children who Suffer from Addiction

Holidays can be tough for people struggling with addiction, I know because I’ve gone through it with one son, and now, his older brother has headed down the same road. I’ve got to be kidding, right? Unfortunately, I’m not kidding. Just as one son is getting his life together, the other’s falls apart. Heartbreaking? Absolutely! But, after having gone through it, I know what to do and definitely what not to do, making me more more empowered this time around. I also know that in the spirit of the holiday season, as mothers, we have a tendency to return to our co-dependent behaviors. Of course our little co-dependent behaviors all come with the best of intentions, but as we’ve learned before, they only make the situation worse.
Determined to keep this holiday season joyous and peaceful for everyone, I have come up with a list of Do’s & Don’ts that I wanted to share with all moms having to deal with addiction during this holiday season.

List of Don’ts

  • Don’t try to fix everything
  • Don’t expect your child to be different just because you’re due for a Christmas miracle
  • Don’t over-compensate with gifts, especially if you have been financially strained due to your child’s behavior
  • Don’t trust until it has been fully earned
  • Don’t force others to be around your addicted loved-one if they don’t feel comfortable
  • Don’t love them less than your other children
  • Don’t enable them: let them fall and feel the consequences of their actions
  • Don’t verbalize negative assumptions that don’t empower them
  • Don’t let their addiction define them
  • Don’t let your addicted child’s behavior take away the holiday spirit for the rest of family

The List of Do’s

  • Accept that everything is happening for a reason
  • Take care of yourself!
  • Enjoy all of your moments
  • Listen without judgement
  • Provide a sober environment that reduces triggers
  • Avoid self-blame or any blame at all for that matter
  • Stay firm and consistent in your agreements
  • Remember everybody is suffering from something, so don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise

The Three C’s of Dealing with Someone Suffering from Addiction

  • You didn’t cause the addiction
  • You can’t control the addiction
  • You can’t cure the addiction
Enjoy your holiday & get excited about making your personal resolutions for 2018!
I hope these reminders helped, please feel free to pass them on to anyone who has a son or daughter dealing with addiction.

 

Helpful Links for Family & Friends of Addicts

  • Al-Anon.org (al-anon.org) For family members of alcoholics.
  • Nar-anon (nar-anon.org) For family members of addicts.
  • Gam-anon (gam-anon.org) For family members of gamblers.
  • org (coda.org) For co-dependent individuals.
  • org (adultchildren.org) For adult children of alcoholics and addicts.
Peace,
Carolyn

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